go go, skooter.

First Saturday Arts Market was a success. Thank you to those who visited / helped set up / brought me food and drinks / bought art. I really, honestly, cannot thank you guys enough. Thank you thank you thank you x infinite + beyond.

booth set up / my face?

During the day I realized something: My favorite moments are when people laugh at my art. When someone walks up to my painting or prints, picks it up, and smiles. I love that. I love that I can make someone happy with my silly doodles.
I think that's why I draw.

I rarely think about high school (although I do still hang out with my high school friends) but I did have one teacher I liked.
Mr. Lowe was my band instructor, and every year he would tell us:

"Do what you love, and love what you do."

And every year I would think, "WELL PISS, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I LOVE AND WHAT I WANT TO DO." because ultimately, you want to find something you're passionate about, and you want that "if you love your job, you never have to work a day of your life" type of stuff. Right? I've always wanted to draw. But that didn't seem like a job. So I went to college, got a degree in architecture, and found myself an 8-5 job. Don't get me wrong - I like my job a lot. I like architecture. I enjoy what I do.
I just don't know if it's my passion anymore. Or if it ever was.

art fairs can get drrrrrty.

Four months ago - January - I thought about quitting art.
I almost shut down my Etsy page and considered taking home everything that was displayed at Boomtown.
I told a close friend this. And she said,
YOU CAN'T.

Why? It's just something I do on the side. I can quit - I should quit - I can barely see straight and thinking about doing something that I enjoyed when I used to be happy and when we used to be us is painful and now there's no we so I'm no longer me and who am I when there's nothing left?

I decided to do First Saturday Arts Market.
I started painting again in February, and I took a couple custom orders. I restocked the empty spaces at Boomtown. I started interacting with customers again. I received feedback. I started getting thanked for doing a silly painting. I painted, painted, painted. Then on May 4th, I filled a booth with my paintings & prints and threw myself out to the public.
I watched people smile as they sifted through my greeting cards.
I felt my heart recovering.

Essentially what I'm trying to say is that I've finally found what I love, and I get to do what I love, and it's all because I have incredibly supportive parents, brother, friends, coworkers, and strangers. I started painting in 2008 because people encouraged me to. I stuck with it in 2013 because people encouraged me to. I'm extremely thankful.
I'm thankful that I have wonderful people in my life.
I'm thankful that I have a passion that quite possibly saved my life.
I'm thankful that I feel passionate about something, which means my heart isn't completely dead yet.

It's been a shitty year but I think I'm going to be okay.